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This is a piece by Brett Blumenthal from Sheer Balance I've written numerous articles and posts on difficult people, personalities and relationships. Everything from Manipulative Mary's to Bullies in the workplace to people who break boundaries to toxic personalities. Let's face it: In life, we come across all kinds! As humans, we often focus on those who are negative or toxic leaving it difficult to appreciate those who are positive and healthy. Seeking out individuals with healthy, positive traits, however, may do a lot of good. The more we can surround ourselves with those who are positive and healthy, the more we may model those fine positive behaviors. If you really think about it, once in a while you come across a person who knocks you off your socks...legitimately. Maybe they have a fantastic outlook on life; even during difficult times. Maybe they are really humble, although they are extremely gifted. Maybe they make you feel special. All of these are good. Below, I've listed some of the traits I admire most in people. Although I could probably list a dozen characteristics, I thought I'd list those that seem to be the rarest and most difficult to find. 1. Selflessness: In a world where many people don't have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. People can be selfless in the time they give, ability to listen, their level of patience and the love they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special. While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite. 2. Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals. All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. After all, these differences make the world go round. Having the ability to accept people for whom they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships. 3. Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial. Feeling comfortable in one's skin and being true to one's self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty...it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular...it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so...it means loving people for who they really are...deep down..and for what they appear to be. 4. Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us. Those who are sensitive and often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful on how they impact others and what they say and do. 5. Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find. In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff...can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods). Integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today. 6. Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something special about them if they don't come across as though they know it all the time. Humility in those who possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too. Oh boy the list could go on! What characteristics do you admire in others? Are there any you want to cultivate?
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I rarely do this but for the second month in a row I have decided to recommend the same book. The book is Open by Andre Agassi. I have really learned a lot and gained a lot of validation through my reading of this book and the lessons it teaches about discipline, vision, pain, vulnerability, transparency, hope and eventually getting to know thy self and understand who we are and what we want from life. Life is hard and it can be painful. Agassi teaches lessons through his journey that highlight how much of his story is also my (and your) story and how as Alanis Morissette says "the only way out is through."
There are few things more powerful then discovering a new band that moves my heart with their lyrics and their music. Needtobreathe and their latest CD "The Outsiders" is one of those bands and one of those records. This is a very moving and powerful collection of music. I recommend it highly.
