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January 2012 Newsletter

Begin with the End in Mind

Happy New Year!  As 2011 ends and the New Year begins I intentionally take some time to reflect on the past year and to look ahead to this year and what I want to accomplish in some of the key areas of my life both personally and professionally.  Some of those areas include;

      -Health

      -Relationships (spouse, children, family, friends and co-workers)

      -Career

      -Hobbies

      -Self-Development

      -Finance

      -Dreams

I take time to write out some goals for change and/or improvement in each of the areas above.  I ask myself, what would this area of my life look like if it were "perfect?"  This is the ideal envisioned future for each of these areas.  Writing my goals down gives me clarity on what I want to achieve. 

I then write out a set of action plans for each area on how I am going to get that area of my life from where it is now to where I want it to be.  I set time lines for each action plan and I enlist an accountability partner (co-worker, family member, friend etc...) to ensure that I am consistent and disciplined with my action steps.

I then "check-in" once each month see how I am progressing in each area.  I am realistic in my goal setting so I don't feel a huge let down in any one area.  I am also realistic in my goal setting so I can celebrate victories that come from my discipline and consistency during the year.

I have completed my planning for 2012 and I am focused on improvement in each area of my life.

Regrets of the Dying

"It all comes down to relationships in the end.  That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships."  I read this piece by Bronnie Ware and I was moved and compelled to pay it forward to you.

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For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
 

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
 
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
 
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
 

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely and choose honestly. Choose happiness.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed by the regrets of dying people. It may be ordered through bookstores worldwide or from Balboa Press.
It is also available via the link on this page.
Details for wholesale orders may be found on Bronnie's official website.

http://www.inspirationandchai.com

Book and Music Recommendation

I enjoy the sincerity and hard working nature of Coldplay.  Their fifth album, Mylo Xyloto, is as quintessentially Coldplay as anyone could imagine: a mix of booming anthems designed for stadiums, as well as some low-key acoustic tracks that remind us that they started out as just four guys looking for love.  On Mylo Xyloto, the choruses are bigger, the textures grander, the optimism more optimistic. It's a bear-hug record for a bear-market world.  Mylo Xyloto is a strange mix of sincere reflection and aesthetic pleasure.

Mylo Xyloto works because the band once again manages to sound like Coldplay without sounding like any of their previous LPs, maintaining their stadium-spanning grandeur while subtly challenging preconceptions.

I hope you enjoy this music as much as I do.

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Is it possible for a company to grow its revenues and profits by 10 percent or more for at least ten consecutive years, not counting acquisitions? That’s an incredibly high bar for growth and profitability, one that 99.99 percent of American companies can’t meet— including the famous ones that routinely land on magazine covers.

Management expert Jason Jennings screened 100,000 companies to identify nine little- known firms that have delivered stellar performance for a full decade or more, despite the ups and downs of the economy. And, as he reveals in his new book, these superstars have a lot in common despite their wide range of industries, which includes software, food services, medical supplies, and sporting goods.

It turns out that the best long-term performers all combine the strengths of a big organization with the hunger of a start-up. They build excellent relationships with their customers, suppliers, workers, and shareholders. They groom future leaders at all levels. They balance their short-term goals with their long-term visions. And they teach their managers to get their hands dirty.

Jennings did extensive interviews at his nine featured companies to find out exactly how they consistently increase revenue and profits without using manipulation or gimmickry. He reveals their unique approach to leadership and shows how any company, no matter what size or industry, can benefit from following their examples.

Think Big, Act Small may be the most powerful management book since Good to Great and Execution.

Quotation

"One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.  He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

"The Other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

         -Anonymous

A Closing Note

Thank you for reading this month's newsletter.  I hope you are able to use some of the content to improve your life and/or your career.  If there is an opportunity for me to speak at an upcoming conference or meeting, please let me know.
 
If you like what you see, please feel free to review my web site at www.darylwizelman.com.  I speak on leadership, work/life balance, strategic initiatives, emotional intelligence and life planning among other topics that can be viewed on my web site.  I believe I can inspire your group and provide them with excellent practical tools to improve their career and their life.
 
There are two buttons below.  One reads, "forward email."  Please forward this newsletter to anyone that you believe would derive benefit from its content. 

The other button (bottom of the page) is a "share" button.  This will allow you to load the content of this newsletter in your Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn accounts.
 
Again, thank you for your interest.
 
Daryl

Daryl Wizelman
www.darylwizelman.com
daryl@wizelman.com

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